The 5 Types of People at an Apple Store Opening

The other week I attended my second Apple Store opening! I am not exactly sure why I love attending these so much, but my husband and I like to collect the free Apple Store shirts they hand out at the door. So, whenever a store opens up in our area, we have a little tradition going to attend the opening, usually video taping the experience (I know, we are that couple)! What’s interesting though, is that each time we attend an opening, we notice that there are always a specific set of people who are in line with us. In case you have never experienced an Apple opening for yourself, I thought I should share my (comical) thoughts on the five types of people in line.

The bragger: Like the name suggests, the bragger is constantly talking about the apple products they own or have owned while they are waiting in line. I’m not sure if this sort of event brings out a sense of nostalgia in these people or what, but you can always spot them with a small group of people surrounding them as they lament how its a pitty indeed that they already own one of everything in the store, because they would really love to make a purchase if only there was something they actually needed during this visit. Clearly, like most in line they are just here for the experience and the free t-shirt, but they don’t want to admit that, so they focus their efforts on trying to figure out something they could buy!

The late comer: The last comers are an interesting group because you’re never quite sure if they just heard about the event and decided to show up, or if they planned to show up late. These folks have arrived 10 minutes before the store’s opening and are bewildered at why they aren’t at the front of the line. Clearly, they have no concept of how an Apple Store opening works, or really understand that people show up hours in advance to line up!  Heck, they didn’t even know the mall opened that early! I secretly believe, however, that these types of people are actually the cleverest, because they do minimal waiting and still end up with a shirt. Seriously, who needs to waste 3 hours of their Saturday morning standing in line at a mall that isn’t even open just to get a shirt and be one of the first in the store?

The android user: These types of people always confuse me the most, not because I question why they are there, but because its always amazing how many of them there are in line. You are never exactly sure why they are there, and sometimes I think they can’t even answer that, but I am pretty convinced that they think it’s a game, denying a spot in line to a true apple fanboy or fangirl! You will usually hear them talking loudly about how androids phones are much better than iPhones and how PCs are far superior computers for gaming than Macs will ever be. Oh, and they will probably just sell the t-shirt on eBay! Such a waste!

The dedicated fanboy: These types are easiest to spot because they are carrying multiple apple products to the opening, including their iPad mini in a dedicated man purse and trying desperately to use more than one iOS device at a time. They are usually documenting their experience to a varying degree through pictures, videos or tweets, and wearing an Apple shirt from a previous event or some screen printed T with an obscure geek reference. You really can’t hate on these guys though because you know they have been planning this social outing for a while and really respect them for their dedication, although the android users are secretly mocking them!

The apple noob: This group includes mostly teenagers and some elderly folks who maybe own an iPhone or iPod? They  really have no clue about apple technology but OMG couldn’t miss this! They are either with their parents, who couldn’t tell you the difference between a iPad and an iMac, or with a group of friends that may or may not include an android user. They are also very loud and taking an obsessive amount of pictures with Apple employees to share via social media. They will most likely spend a few hours in the store trying to download illegal music or switching the default homepage of each computer to a soft core porn site or the desktop background to their current favorite meme. Sigh!