What I want to be when I Grow Up

I recently had a conversation with a friend and former colleague about the importance of knowing “what I want to be when I grow up.” She and I were discussing career paths and what sort of job she would like to have next within her company, but she was unsure which path to take. Should she look for a promotion, should she move to another company, where was her life and relationship with her boyfriend headed? In the midst of our conversation, I asked her “well, what do you want to be when you grow up?” She thought the question was funny, “obviously, we are grown up, but what was it that you always thought you would do with your life and do you still want to do it,” I asked.

She really didn’t have to think about it because she immediately knew the answer, she wanted to work for the company she had spent a year interning for after college. She knew it was the time of her life and although she knew she would want to go back in a different role and work in a different side of the business, she at least was able to articulate it.

“Okay, so go work for them,” I said, very matter of fact. “I can’t do that,” she replied, “[my boyfriend] owns a home here and he would never move.” The conversation went on from there and we discussed that ever confusing ambiguity of life where women are expected to manage their personal life and their career, and how to know if you are with “the one” or not. Clearly, neither of us are experts on the subject so I’m not sure the conversation ended with any sort of resolution to her issues, although I like to hope she was at least able to frame herself and her situation in new light.

The reason I am sharing this story here on my blog, is because I feel like for so many women out there, we struggle to find a career and a life that is fulfilling, but then we openly reject what it is we know we want because it may require our lives to change. My friend was probably right, her boyfriend probably won’t want to move to allow her to pursue her dream career, but does that mean that the career is wrong or the boyfriend is wrong? I think pragmatists would say, leave the boyfriend and pursue the career you want, romantics would say, find another career and keep the man. Who is right? Who is wrong? It doesn’t actually matter. The opinions of others don’t really matter when it comes to our own life choices. People will always have an opinion one way or the other, but we have to find the courage to make the choices that bring us happiness and fulfillment.  The issue isn’t about choosing career or choosing love, the issue is choice itself and understanding that you do, indeed, have a choice in how to live your life. You can choose to be a passive participant in your life or you can choose to have the courage to be an active one!