If you are someone who is looking to become more organized and successful with the help of planning, the formula is pretty simple.
Step One: Find a reliable planning method.
Step Two: Make sure to write down and make time for all scheduled events and known tasks within said planning method.
Step Three: Do the things!
Simple, right?
Well, maybe in theory more so than practice. Step one can sometimes be a process of trial and error, which I get, but then again I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to find a system that conforms perfectly to our lives, when the truth is most people could make do with a pen and a notebook! Step two is a habit you just need to work on, making time to sit down and plan out your tasks and activities, and then also making sure you keep your planner with you in situations when you might need it so you can record information there making your system air tight. Step three, though, is were the real work is done and it’s really where all tutorials and direction for planning just taper off. Step three is go time, the moment of truth. To do or not to do, that is the question and if you are not someone with a lot of internal motivation, accountability and self-discipline, this can be the moment when the whole process falls apart.
If this is you, I get it!
Despite whatever you believe of me, how productive I am, how self-motivated and on the ball I can be, even I have moments were I see a task on my to do list and then I go blank. I might walk away from my desk for a while, take a break, or work on something else. I’ve clearly hit a wall with this task and I am trying to avoid it with all the psychological defense mechanisms known to mankind. For one reason or another, I’m experiencing resistance preventing me from starting and completing the task.
Resistance is the best way I know to explain this situation. Of knowing what I need to do next, but avoiding taking the action. It’s not something I experience with every task, and I think for the vast majority of us that is the case. We might not avoid all tasks we’ve planned, but we avoid some. This actually gives us really good insight into what’s going on with us in our heads- because that is where the resistance lies. When I hit this sort of resistance in my day, one of the things I tend to do is avoid working on a specific task and skip to something else on my list or go do something else entirely like start cleaning my house or meal prepping something. So, clearly I’m not just being lazy here, I am willing to do something, just not that particular something for a reason that is likely unknown to me in the moment.
The reason is unknown to me in that moment because my brain is causing the resistance and it doesn’t want me to see or understand whatever trigger or limiting belief this task is brining up. This is a normal part of the fight or flight mechanism in the brain. When the brain senses danger or anything it has determined is a threat to its delicate equilibrium, it puts us in a panic mode. Hence the reason I tend to see a task I don’t want to do and immediately get up and away from my desk to take myself away from danger. It’s also not uncommon to experience anxiety, mental strain, physical stress in the body, and other symptoms of a fight or flight reaction being triggered. It’s important to understand that we ourselves aren’t the ones deciding to have this response, instead it’s the programming of our brain’s autonomic nervous system that tries to protect us even when we aren’t aware of the danger. In the case of avoiding a task on our to do list, it’s clear to our rational mind that doing that task isn’t going to put us in harms way physically (unless the task is something that does involve danger, rare, but possible), but our brain has interpreted the task as a danger none the less.
Usually, the brain will trigger this sort of response to a task for one of a few reasons. First, if we have never done the task before. That’s pretty common. Our brains operate under a consistent fear of the unknown, and when we haven’t ever experienced something before, we get scared. Think of the jitters you got on the first day of school, on your wedding day or going to see a new doctor. Newness equals foreign to our brains and that means danger!
The second reason the brain might trigger this response is because we have some known existing anxiety over it. To give you an example from my own life, when I used to work at the fortune 50 before going full time for myself, I would dread our teams weekly calls or any event or interaction with my boss at the time because we did not gel. As a result, I would frequently avoid doing any work to prepare for those events (not going to make the situation any better, I know) because thinking about having to interact with my boss stressed me out to an unusually high degree. In fact, when I finally left my job, I gave my notice right after a one-on-one call with my boss and the day before we had a scheduled meeting together, and I didn’t even tell him, I emailed HR because I was literally shaking and overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. So, this is a bit of an extreme example, but I think it illustrates the point that sometimes we panic and avoid working on a task when we know we are afraid of it. Our known fear translates to a fight or flight response in our brains!
The third and final reason the brain might trigger this response is because a task is actually highly important to us and our personal identity. Now, this reason is something of a blend of the first two situations. It could be something we have never done before and something we are a little bit afraid of, but more so than that, it might be part of a larger goal that we feel strongly tied to. So, I find that when people set a personal goal for themselves, something they think is very important, something they feel called to do, or something they know deep inside is going to bring significant change to their lives, this can trigger the brain as well. I think the reason tasks related to the achievement of our goals ends up triggering our brains is because we have usually built up this goal in our minds, dreaming about it and fantasizing about it, that our brains fear the change you’re anticipating. I think of this as a subconscious anxiety response, similar to the second example but you don’t consciously know you are afraid of the tasks!
Okay, so these are three very significant reasons why our brains might set off a fight or flight response to doing tasks we have planned for ourselves, but what can we do to overcome this resistance? Eventually, we have to come back to the task at hand, and if it’s important to us to achieve it, we need to disable that fight or flight response and actually get down to work!
When this happens to me, when I get spooked by a task because I’ve hit a measure of resistance in the limits of my own mind, I use a simple but effective visualization practice to condition my brain. I’ll identify the task I need to work on and I will get myself in position as if I am about to do the work. For most of my tasks this means sitting at my desk, but if you’re avoiding cleaning out your closet or going for a run, this activity is best practiced in the situation where the task is to be accomplished for added ambience. So, once you’re situated in the right area, without taking any action, visualize yourself moving through the steps necessary to complete the task. So, if you were going to complete the task, how would you start? Imagine yourself taking the action and see with your minds eye the results beginning to form step by step until the task is complete.
Remember, you’re not actually doing anything right now, you’re just sitting or standing in the place where your task would likely begin and envisioning yourself doing the task like a daydream. If you need to, feel free to use some notes or an outline to keep your progress visualizing the task on track. This is you practicing to perform the task, and the great thing is, visualizing yourself doing the work actually convinces your brain that you’ve done it or that you have some experience that increases it’s confidence and therefore shuts off the fight or flight response. You might not think something like this, daydreaming yourself completing a task would have any affect, but science has shown that the brain can’t tell the difference between something that happened in reality and something that happened in your mind.
Everything is processed in your brain after all, those images you see in your minds eye of yourself performing the task are just as real as actually doing the thing, and get this, research has also shown that your body even records muscle memory from your visualized experience as well. This is why many pro athletes use visualization to practice when they are not at physical practice. Because this sort of mental rehearsal conditions your mind and your body to understand what it looks like and feels like for you to perform a task. This is why we see so many inspirational quotes about visualizing your goals and daydreaming about your future, because mental dress rehearsal increases the chances that you will actually take action and it will help you produce better results when you do because you’re prepared. You’ve done this before, even if it was all in your head!
So, next time you run away from or avoid a task that you had planned, take a moment to regroup and spend some time visualizing yourself taking the action. It might feel funny the first few times you try it, but like everything practice makes perfect!
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and anything you have to add, so please feel free to leave me a comment below. Also, let me know how this strategy works for you- I’d love to hear your experiences and of course celebrate your successes with you!
xoxo,
“Imagine yourself taking the action and see with your minds eye the results beginning to form step by step until the task is complete.”
For me, this is the biggest problem. Figuring out the steps. That’s usually why I walk away from the tasks in the first place, because I don’t know what to do next. (And because feeling incompetent is a Scary Feeling, like you mentioned.) Do you have a link to any posts about how to figure out the next step, please? Or is that too dependent on specific situations and tasks for you to really write about?
This is a great question and I’m so glad you left this comment! So, yes, figuring out the steps can be a challenge and the first step for any task will be different depending on what you are doing. However, this is where I think people don’t spend enough time either sitting and thinking about what makes logical sense to do first, out of fear (as you pointed out fear of incompetence) or they don’t do the research. Both of these situations to me come from #1 not giving yourself time and space to just think and make a plan and #2 fear. No one knows how to do a think until they’ve done it, and everyone fears some sense of fear before doing something new (or even something they have done 1,000x) but they learn to push past the fear. They recognize they are getting scared and instead of running they stand their ground. The technique in this post explains what to do once you’d stood your ground! Give yourself the time and space, and if you really don’t know what to do (I bet with many things you really do have a sense of what to do, you just don’t trust yourself yet) do some research first and get other peoples methods and start with those!