Every once in a while, I get an itch. A feeling like I want to do something I have never done before, perhaps I have seen an upswing in a certain trend that I had always admired, or just feel like I want to change something in my life in a big way. I get an urge for spontaneity and adventure, and that stereotypical “you only live once” mentality comes on. Of course, when I sit down to give good thought to the idea of dying my hair turquoise or getting a foot tattoo, two of the more prominent urges I often feel, I end up realizing that for me, those choices would be a mistake. There are plenty of opportunities I have missed throughout the years, regrets scattered here and there that I try not to give thought to, but these are the five things I’m glad I’ve never done!
1. Smoked: I’ll admit that when I was 18 I bought a pack of cigarettes just because I could! They were those super small and skinny girly cigarettes and I would sit with my father at his favorite bar and pretend to smoke them. “You’re not inhaling,” he’d notice. “Of course not,” I’d respond. “That’s what get’s you addicted!” He would proceed to laugh at me with a gang of other regulars, eventually coming to the conclusion that I was too smart for my own good. Coming from a family of smokers, I’m often surprised that I never actually took up smoking seriously, but then again, I always hated the smell of cigarette smoke and growing up it was definitely hammered into my brain by one too many after school specials that smoking was bad, just say no! I’m often surprised at the number of people my own age that smoke. I firmly believe it’s a result of peer pressure and a need to just fit in, but geez, sometimes I feel like people should just know better!
2. Got a tattoo: My father always told me that if I got a tattoo he would cut it off me with a knife, but when my younger brother proceeded to cover his body with them, not much of an argument was raised beyond an opinion of their ridiculousness. In college I had a bunch of friends that had tattoos, little marks here and there that were easy to hide with clothing or in places that were not commonly exposed. I gave great thought to the idea of getting a tattoo, and I still sometimes think that if they ever come up with an ink that is able to be removed in a single laser removal appointment, that I just might. But, for now, I am glad I’ve never put a drop of ink into my skin!
3. Been promiscuous: Apparently one of the trademarks of my generation is that of promiscuity. It’s common for teenage girls to lose their virginity to a random high school boyfriend and then follow it up with a series of lovers through college and into formal adulthood. I, however, being the good little Catholic girl I was raised to be, abhorred the idea of casual sex. Not only do I find it to be gross, but I don’t understand nor do I believe that people, women really, can separate the act of physical love with the emotion side of it all. I believe that casual sex as a form of sexual freedom is a lie that promiscuous girls tell themselves and others to legitimize and rationalize their acts, and I believe men exploit this for their own ends. Now, I may not have been a virgin when I got married, but I’m proud that I was able to rise above the pressures most girls face and reserve that part of myself for the few true relationships I have had in my life.
4. Dramatically changed my hair: For the majority of my life, I have had long, dark brown hair. When I was younger, I hated it. It was too thick, extremely curly and impossible to manage in middle school. I desperately wanted to go blonde and made several attempts that resulted in a reddish/copper toned mane that was far from platinum blonde. Once my hair had returned to a more neutral hue later in my high school years, I made the discovery of a lifetime. The Chi! Yes, a hair straightener that acted like a magic wand, changing my hair from big and frizzy to sleek and soft gave my relationship with my hair a fresh start! After that, I began to enjoy my thick dark locks in a way I never had before, growing it out long and lovely. I am often told that I would look good with this or that certain shorter cut, but I wouldn’t dare change it dramatically, I just love it too much. Likewise I often see images of girls with lovely pastel and rainbow toned hair and think to myself “well, I work for myself now, I could dye my hair turquoise without fear,” but the end result is always that I refuse to change one single hair on my head!
5. Followed the crowd: From a young age I distinctly remember realizing that following the crowd was not the way to happiness. Yes, I always wanted to fit in and be accepted at school and such, but I never felt like I needed to do xy or z in order to be accepted. So, for the most part, I was always a little bit of an outsider. I had friends and I wanted them to like me, but not at the expense of my own internal compass. To be honest, there were times when going it my own way was a little tough, I still find it hard to fit in 100% in certain social situations and I go out of my way for people because I am a self-proclaimed people pleaser, but when I did something, I did it my way, and as far as I can tell, this was the best approach to take. It took me years to realize that going it my own way and being comfortable with myself and my beliefs actually made other people envious of my freedom. I may have been on the outside, but when your standing out on your own, its much easier for other people to see you!
I hope that at least some part of this post resonated with you. Let me know in the comments which things you agree or disagree with. I’d love to know your opinion!
xoxo,
