Strange & Charmed

With July 4^th coming up, I thought I would take a moment to talk to you about drinking, or rather, how to avoid drinking in social situations. This information doesn’t just apply to July 4^th weekend, but can be applied all year round if you are someone who prefers not to drink but finds it had to avoid drinking while others are indulging.

Reasons to avoid alcohol

While you certainly do not need a reason to avoid drinking, there are many legitimate reasons why one would choose not to drink in a social situation. You may be in a recovery program in which you are voluntarily prohibiting yourself from alcohol, in which case you have made a commitment and would not want to stray from that. You may be on certain medications that interact negatively with alcohol, or you may be the designated driver for the evening. These situations tend to have the least amount of pressure from others to drink. Usually, people who know this information will not offer you drinks or try to compromise your integrity or health while out at a bar or a barbecue, but what about other reasons when your avoidance of alcohol is not so clear cut?

I for one, generally do not drink when I am out, even if I am with friends who are drinking. I have no problem defending my position that I don’t like alcohol and the affects it has on my demeanor. I find that alcohol makes me feel tired and gives me a stomach ache, and even if I keep my drink count low, having alcohol in my system usually makes me feel laggy for days. I personally also do not like to drink my calories in alcohol or any other beverage for that matter so that factors in as well.

 The Stigma of Sobriety

For me, its not hard to avoid drinking because most people know this about me and will not offer me drinks, but what if you were someone who usually drinks with friends but now, for whatever reason, has decided to stop?

The first thing you have to know is that sometimes people find it hard to understand why someone would not be drinking alcohol if it was offered. People almost take it personally or feel like they are being judged when someone suddenly stops drinking. There is definitely a stigma around sobriety and it usually leads to the assumption that you are recovering from an alcohol addiction (whether you are or not) or that you’re pregnant (if you’re a woman). These questions can lead to a feeling of peer pressure that could cause you to fall off your own wagon in a way and choose to drink just to fit in.

I know some people who end up doing this. They may want to avoid alcohol for one reason or another but when they get together with their group of old drinking buddies, they find it hard to avoid drinking and since they don’t have a strong reason to withhold they end up imbibing. I think this stigma sucks, but luckily there are some things you can do to avoid it!

 Tips to Avoid Alcohol

If you feel like you cannot survive the stigma around sobriety, there are a few things you can do to avoid suspicion. If you have an event at a bar or restaurant, I would suggest arriving a bit early before the others and talking to your bartender or waitress. If you let them know you are not drinking this evening, but you don’t want anyone to know, they can make you fake drinks that appear to be alcoholic beverages, but are really just club soda or mixers without the alcohol. Many times, the glasses they use at bars and restaurants denote alcoholic beverages from non alcoholic beverages, so if you arrive ahead of your friends and they see you with a clear glass filled with ice and garnished with a lime, they will just assume its your usual gin and tonic, even if its clear soda or seltzer water.

Just make sure if someone wants to try your drink you keep it to yourself. Its easy enough to make up an excuse like “I think I may be coming down with something so its probably best if you don’t drink from my glass.” And if you can’t make it early to to location, don’t fret, just try to pull your waitress or bartender aside and discreetly let them know your preference for the evening. Bartenders especially will understand this and are usually more than willing to oblige. Just make sure you pass them a good tip at the end of the night for keeping your secret safe, after all, you are saving a good amount of money if your drinks are dressed up sodas without the shots of alcohol!

Now, these tips may work when you are out with friends, but what about when you’re at someones home or a barbecue? Obviously, its a little harder to control this situation, but there are things you can do to avoid alcohol without people pestering you about it. First, I suggest bringing some drinks of your own. Usually, if your attending a barbecue or a party at someone’s house, or at a public place like a camp site or local park, you would bring something like a side dish or a bottle of wine etc. Well, make sure you bring yourself something to drink without alcohol in it.

I suggest one of three things. First, if you are normally a beer drinker, I suggest picking up a 6-pack of a micro brew root beer or ginger ale that you can find at your local grocery store. Often times these microbrew non alcoholic drinks appear to be actual beers as they are packaged like them. You don’t need to say anything about what you brought, but if someone asks you and notices its not a beer, you can say something like “I really love this stuff, its my new addiction!” People may offer you something alcoholic, and you can politely pass on it with the legitimate excuse that you brought your own. I find with situations like this, people aren’t so concerned with what you are drinking as long as you are drinking something that looks familiar.

My second suggestion would be to bring a pitcher of a beverage that looks like a mixed drink. Remember in college when you used to drink “jungle juice” and it was basically Kool Aid with tons of clear alcohol in it, but for some reason you couldn’t taste the alcohol? That’s the concept with this one. Make a colorful beverage and stick to it for the event. If someone asks for a sip, let them have it and revel with them in amazement at the fact that you just can’t taste the alcohol! “Maybe I didn’t put enough alcohol in,” you can suggest. Your not lying and your friends will probably end up avoiding your beverage for something stronger anyway. In the end, everyone wins and you most of all win for avoiding alcohol without feeling the peer pressure of your friends.

My final suggestion would be to use a colored solo cup or your own opaque pitcher to drink from during the event. At parties, the non alcoholic beverages are normally sitting right next to the alcoholic ones, so its easy enough to fill your cup with a soda or juice instead of the hostesses homemade sangria. As long as they can’t see whats in your cup, no one can notice what you are or are not drinking. If comments arise as to the quality and taste of the sangria, make sure you give your thumbs up to be polite to your host. She certainly won’t know you didn’t try it!

 Conclusion

Even though you may find yourself in social situations where you would normally enjoy a drink with friends and family, its often tough to avoid alcohol even if you want to. Compound that with the fact that many people find it odd when friends suddenly change their drinking behavior, and certain social events can turn into a pressure filled time instead of a fun event! Although honesty is always the best policy, what your friends and family don’t know won’t hurt them, and its not like your hurting yourself by not drinking. So, with a little forethought, you can make sure you look and feel like you fit in with your crowd while also maintaining your personal integrity. After all, alcohol is a tricky thing. It may be fun to loosen up with a drink, but it can also have short term and long term affects to your well being that just aren’t worth it to some people. So make sure you’re doing what you need to do to get by and I hope you have a great July 4^th wherever and however you are celebrating!